It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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