Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
