My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
