You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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