i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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