conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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