we're blogging at a bar
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You're like the curious george of whores
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
