4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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