You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
