I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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