The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
