Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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