sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
