We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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