I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize