All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
