oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
