Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
