Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
