I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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