His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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