Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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