found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
