her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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