Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
