Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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