That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
