THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
