I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
