It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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