Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
