the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize