Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize