You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
