census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
