there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
