Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
