I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
