how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
