If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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