Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
