you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
