I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
