Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
