im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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