I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
