STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
kristin has been a bad kristin
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
