Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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