Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
