sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize