i don't like sucking hair
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
