I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
