Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
