I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
