I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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