he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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