gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
