Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
