Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
