why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
